Authentic Activities

I used the substitute's note from my last posting as a warm-up exercise. I scanned it and projected it, three feet wide and two and a half feet high, on the screen at the front of my room. Above the note, I typed, "DWR: (the students know this means, "daily written response") Write a response to this note. Comment on the content and identify errors in grammar, spelling, and construction." The class did not immediately begin writing.

"Mr. Rice, the sub was like a crack addict or something."

"Mr. Rice, she came in here like she was the Queen of England."

"Mr. Rice, let me tell you what happened."

"Mr. Rice, was that our class?"

"OK, guys," I said, "After only four weeks I know it might be hard to remember, but what are you supposed to do when you first come in the room?"

"We're supposed to write, not talk. You know, just respond to the text or image or music, whatever you have up."

"Right," I said, "Push your thoughts through your pens, not your mouths; we'll have time to discuss this in less than ten minutes. You know, I have to take roll and I like to write spontaneously to these prompts as well."

"But Mr. Rice . . . ."

This dialog, or something like it, happened in all of my six English classes, especially the class with the offending young lady. In each case, they finally settled in and wrote for a few minutes with only minimal muttering.

The discussions after "pens down" went along the same path as well.

"She's stupid." "Her grammar sucks." "I can't even read her handwriting."

"OK, be more specific." Identify a sentence fragment or a run-on. Look for a sentence that doesn't make sense. Is she trying on a metaphor here or has she just scrambled her words?"

It worked out great, they gleefully butchered her work and stepped directly into my pedagogical trap.

"All right you guys, what level of education is required for someone to get a job as a substitute teacher in this county?"

"High school diploma."

"Big degree."

"Nothing."

"College."

"A four-year degree or two years of college with at least six credits in the field of education." I finally revealed.

"What do you think of someone who writes like this?"

"Wow, what a loser."

"Yeah Mr. Rice, she's a real idiot. Lame, yeah, really lame."

The class got a kick out of this woman's ignorance especially after discovering she had attained what they consider to be an extreme level of education.

Perfect.

" How did she manage to graduate high school and probably graduate college and still write like this?"

"She cheated."

"Yeah Mr. Rice, she probably cheated."

"How can you cheat on essay tests? Anyway, I'm digressing."

"I'll tell you how she ended up like this. She didn't pay attention, she didn't engage her assignments, and her teachers were probably tired of trying to make her. So she slid by and now you guys are calling her an idiot and stupid. She's a real moron, right? Do you want to be called a moron after you get out of high school? Do you want someone to snigger at your writing and think of you as an idiot? I am your English teacher, and I don't want you to be called an idiot, at least not because of your writing. That's why I push you guys. I'm not your previous teacher. I don't give out crossword puzzles and word searches as authentic work and I am very willing to fail those students who fail themselves and who fail to make an improvement from where they started this class in September."

"Oh."

This week I'm going to be projecting a couple of the notes they left behind on desks last week. They will be accompanied by the following prompt:

"DWR: Although these pieces of writing are quick notes between friends, there are some some unnecessary spelling errors. See if you can identify them. Which note is better constructed and has the fewest errors? Why?"