Monday, April 7, 2008

Don't Chew on Non-Jews

I need to start an annual award for the best student malapropism. In the absence of any real motivation to do so, I will instead post them on this blog.

In this episode, we hear from a young lady, Miss H, who diligently tackled my research paper assignment. In an effort to limit peer-to-peer plagiarism and make endless grading more palatable, I assigned students to write an expository research paper on an event that occurred in the public arena within one week either side of the day they were born. Miss H chose Mr. Bobbitt's castration at the hand of his irate wife, Lorena. In her award-winning line, Miss H soberly reported that, "Lorena Bobbitt masticated her husband's gentile area." I was able to finally recover but H laid me out again with her closing paragraph, in which she concluded that, "men should not rape their wives and women should not masticate their husbands."

Advice we would all be wise to heed.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

So I came here on a lark this morning, to see if you had posted.....I never laughed so hard.....With all the dohickeys they have on computers these days...someone...any one of the software companies should create a usable and complete Syntex checker. This reminds me of the time when I was in college and wrote a whole term paper....15 pages start to finish....pre computers...and used the word trail instead of trial. Bad Spellers of the world UNTIE!! (I wonder what my professor wrote or told all his colleges)

Much Love

Anonymous said...

Awesome!

Bobbitt actually lived in my current residence before we moved in. I remember him vaguely at the age of three peeking behind my fathers legs at the front door, offering a huge scary dog on a muzzle. I was very young so i don't really remember how he looked like and at the time i didn't speak English, but I know now that he was a porn star by the name of "Frankenpenis". He was also a priest. So, I would assume that perhaps somewhere in that story, someone was masticating a gentile...

Just a bit of trivia. I find your blog entertaining.


(By the way, it's Karla. I know how creepy it is to have random people posting about castrated porn stars on your blog, so I hope you feel less awkward knowing who it is. Fat chance.)